Vegas
I'm a pretty nostalgic person. Not to the point where I think everything was better "back then", but I have been accused of living in the past more than once. I was a shy, seriously introverted person during my formative years, at least until my first quarter of college, and by then I had missed out on how I was supposed to behave in the "real world". So the mistakes I made before college were of omission, and those made since have been of commission. Some people think I have some sort of wisdom or intelligence (no, really, there are a few out there!), but all I really have is the sum of my gleanings from my own terrifically bad decisions or moves born out of a bad combination of desperation and naïvete. I have a lot of memories of actions taken or not taken that cause me regret and embarrassment, and from those I derive whatever hard-won "wisdom" I might have.
What does this have to do with Vegas? Those who know me best already know; one of my worst moves ever was my precipitate first marriage to Asmodeus. The Dark Lord. Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies. The Archduke of Hell. He-who-must-not-be-named. Satan comes in many forms, and at least one of them was female and was my first wife. We lived in Las Vegas for the longest 7 months in recorded history. Seriously, the abuses (mental and verbal) I suffered then at her hands scarred me straight--I was wiped clean of the last vestiges of naïvete about what the world was like and what I could do to make it better.
On the other hand, I like Las Vegas. I've had some pretty good times there, before and since my sojourn into the bleak depths of Hell. I like gambling and the fact that there is always something to do in Vegas means I never get bored. And I get to eat a lot of different things, all at the same meal, if I want! The nostalgist in me likes visiting places I've lived before, but living there was torturous--I get a weird mixed bag of emotions when I go there. The pain was so intense and nightmarish to me, though, it has become paradoxically easy to forget it. I know I did all I could to make that marriage work (to my lasting detriment, in some ways) but that means there is nothing about the experience to regret other than the choice to enter into it, which I did while living in SoCal. And any embarrassment I have about putting myself into a relationship like that is relatively muted by its attendant horrors.
I'm going to Vegas today with 3 of my most cherished people in the world. So, yay!
What does this have to do with Vegas? Those who know me best already know; one of my worst moves ever was my precipitate first marriage to Asmodeus. The Dark Lord. Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies. The Archduke of Hell. He-who-must-not-be-named. Satan comes in many forms, and at least one of them was female and was my first wife. We lived in Las Vegas for the longest 7 months in recorded history. Seriously, the abuses (mental and verbal) I suffered then at her hands scarred me straight--I was wiped clean of the last vestiges of naïvete about what the world was like and what I could do to make it better.
On the other hand, I like Las Vegas. I've had some pretty good times there, before and since my sojourn into the bleak depths of Hell. I like gambling and the fact that there is always something to do in Vegas means I never get bored. And I get to eat a lot of different things, all at the same meal, if I want! The nostalgist in me likes visiting places I've lived before, but living there was torturous--I get a weird mixed bag of emotions when I go there. The pain was so intense and nightmarish to me, though, it has become paradoxically easy to forget it. I know I did all I could to make that marriage work (to my lasting detriment, in some ways) but that means there is nothing about the experience to regret other than the choice to enter into it, which I did while living in SoCal. And any embarrassment I have about putting myself into a relationship like that is relatively muted by its attendant horrors.
I'm going to Vegas today with 3 of my most cherished people in the world. So, yay!
posted by bryduck at 8:11 AM
2 Comments:
Hope you are having/had fun in Sin City (in my book, a town with that nickname is reason enough to love it a lot). Research question, Surlylibrarian--let me know if you spot any Keno on the Strip. Last time I was there with the Boss (my Wife, not Springsteen) only a couple of places had it. Mirage, Circus Circus? I forget. For me, not much else is better in Vegas than a cold Miller Lite and some hot Keno action, especially in the shadow of the Sports Book (where I can watch my Wildcats, Hawkeyes, Bruins, White Sox and/or Packers get hammered too). Win big and eat big too! Enjoy!
So...how was it?
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