Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Happy Birthday, Son!

Well, in a little less than 7 hours, you will be exactly one year old, and I think the world is a better place for having you in it. I know mine is. I think the moment when I figured a lot of it out occurred just last night. Even after I've been frustrated beyond my limits by you (and I freely admit that has everything to do with me being incompetent and nothing at all to do with anything you have done) and come close to despair on plenty of times, you greeted me when I came home from work with upraised arms and your glorious "crinkly smile face"--you were actually happy just to see me! That sense of forgiveness and love helped me realize that maybe I can do this, because you aren't simply a blank slate for your mother and me (well, me) to screw up. I don't have to be perfect to raise you, which is a good thing because, as anybody who knows me will say, I am as far from perfect as it gets while still maintaining some sense of decency and decorum. That being said, I also realize that I have to do better; I have to be better than I have been--you've shown me you deserve better, that's for sure. So I'm going to take this occasion to vow to you that I will be better this year than I was last year, and I intend on making this vow anew every year at this time.
Things of which I'm proud that you did this year:
Smiled for the first time
Laughed for the first time
Sat up for the first time
Grew teeth for the first time
Crawled for the first time
Walked for the first time
Ate "real" food for the first time--and what a menu: hamburger, turkey burger, chicken, salmon, cod, apples, bananas, pears, black beans, peas, kidney beans, cheese, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, Goldfish crackers, spinach, strawberries, watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple, and a bunch of stuff I'm forgetting, I'm sure.
Played "peek-a-boo" for the first time
Spoke for the first time, although I'm waiting for further confirmation, much to the consternation of your mom
Whew! That's quite a list.
I love you,